Thursday, February 29, 2024 by Wade Kwon
Next Tuesday is Super Tuesday. Are you ready to vote in Alabama?
Voters in 16 states will head to the polls for the primary election. We have the sample ballots for Jefferson and Shelby Counties for the primaries .
Find your polling place/districts.
Check out the top federal, state and county offices up for grabs. And peruse the Alabama Voter Guide 2024, with voting procedures and frequently asked questions.
For easier viewing, you can print, download or zoom to full screen with each ballot.
Vote next Tuesday, with runoffs on April 16.
• • •
Sample ballots for all 67 counties .
• • •
Jefferson County: Democratic ballot
[Mobile version ]
Jefferson County: Republican ballot
[Mobile version ]
• • •
Shelby County: Democratic ballot
[Mobile version ]
Shelby County: Republican ballot
[Mobile version ]
• • •
Alabama Voter Guide 2024
[Mobile version ]
• • •
Also:
• • •
More Vote 2024 Â coverage.
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Saturday, January 13, 2024 by Wade Kwon
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parking entrepreneurs
They tow all makes with
enthusiasm and greed.
What a slimy scam.
surprise, it’s wholesome
Click on a cartoon
to discover heartwarming
vibes and pure intent.
love your body
We mourn what shape we
could have been and fret over
the shape we’re in now.
the gift card that never came
Checked the mailbox each
day for a special surprise.
All I got was junk.
matching glasses, matching tennies
We look so cute side
by side in identical
pairs of specs and sneaks.
where did we park again?
I placed the pin in
the map app, but it led us
to an empty lot.
the time to go costume shopping is 2 weeks ago
Getting down to the
crummy outfits and props left
on the empty shelves.
bones all the way down
Scare the kids with a
massive show of creepiness …
12-foot skeleton!
ode to big brother
To the blindsides and
vetoes, the hook-ups and back
doors, and showmances!
writers vs. chatgpt
No way John Henry
could shovel as much crap as
the modern AI.
strikes across america
The labor movement
is reawakening with
vigor and vision.
dishwasher on strike
No more scrubbing pots
and pans, rinsing utensils
or spraying soiled plates.
pivot to video
On the one hand, too
cumbersome and dull. On the
other hand, TikTok.
shiny new fences
Plank by plank they went
up, to hide their hideous
yards from the neighbors.
tricks 2023
Egg their electric
car; ask if treats are keto
friendly; indict them.
the parade of t-shirts
Her love of music
shone brightest in the shirts she
wore to big concerts.
if i should fall down
Call the police, call
the paramedics and get
me some painkillers.
the hits of yesteryear
I remember most
of the songs charted in my
adolescent days.
too weak to declutter
Stuff stays stuff because
the alternative is to
get rid of some stuff.
the chores no mores
You could clean the house,
do laundry, wash dishes. Or
live in grownup filth.
the tracker
Know where your loved ones
are at all times, or until
they turn off the app.
most popular weirdos
They seem to be the
It Couple when it comes to
eclectic groupies.
rocket rest area
North Alabama
along I-65 stands
a Saturn 1B.
halloween 2023
A million Barbies
and Kens in a sea of pink
outfits and cocktails.
we’re all shilling something
Artwork, classes, books,
pimento cheese, necklaces,
essential oils.
first amendment
Freedom of speech, press,
religion, assembly and
call on government.
candy opus
There’s nothing like Trick
or Treating in the wild and
receiving full bars.
the annual sickness
From outta nowhere,
a sore throat and an achy
head to wreck my week.
at the movies with taylor swift
Thirty-foot-tall star
struts and sings with the whole world
singing along, too.
rain at the amphitheater
Waiting for the band,
a storm swoops in to drench us
for a few minutes.
the age of streaming
They used to bundle
channels. Now they bundle shows
and movies. Can’t win.
the power of now
Measuring time in
minutes? Try moments to keep
you present always.
keep your unpopular opinions to yourself
Eastern Europe, the
Middle East, reparations,
abortion and guns.
peak fall
Wrapped in a sweater,
walking through leaves with a hot
mug of fresh cider.
humanitarian pauses
When we stop for a
moment and let people live
without doubt or fear.
not everything has to be a musical
A book to a film
to a sequel to a play
to another film.
women and poc and queer artists
See their movies, buy
their books, hit their concerts and
spend to support them.
those who have seen war
Those who have seen war
clamor for peace and friendship
among our nations.
forgot priming
Move all furniture,
tape all edges, put down tarps,
mix a color, paint.
nose-to-tail dining
A piece of chicken
gnawed to the bone. Very clean
and very Asian.
the interminable job listing
Must have these 20
skills. Five years experience.
For “entry level.”
crumbs everywhere
On the seat and in
the folds of clothing. On the
floor and round the mouth.
more options than time
Do power users
learn all the shortcuts? Or do
they make do with some?
no encores
The house lights came on.
The audience stopped clapping.
The house lights came on.
waiting for the tow truck
Smoke is coming from
the engine. At least nothing
is on fire. Yet.
the right analogy
It can crystallize
a thought or lock in a way
to visualize.
the perception of crime
Are these streets safe? It
all comes down to personal
experiences.
inflation deflation
Shopping at the store
brings shock after sticker shock.
Just trying to eat.
the invisible pedestrians
They walk in the tall
shadows of night, not very
streetwise nor secure.
no strangers at the table
Breaking bread, sharing
wine. All are welcome at this
motley gathering.
unleash the mariah
I just want you … Make
my wish come true. All I want
for Christmas is you.
celebrity memoirs
Before they were some-
body, they were nobody.
Everybody cheer.
hot christmas gifts 2023
Some kitchen device,
bitcoin gift card, custom soap,
bulletproof clothing.
the world is slowly dying
A warming Earth needs
not an infestation of
us callous mammals.
the seventeenth best leader
Sometimes you gotta
lower your standards to put
anyone in charge.
tv as homework
Watch each show with a
notebook to remember all
the names and events.
kicked off tiktok
Stand up for what you
believe and be lumped in with
all the cranks and scum.
life in a food desert
Surrounded by fast
food and gas marts, unable
to buy fresh items.
the cardboard rainbow
Picking paint colors
from dozens of shades of green
and gray leaves me blue.
painting the rec room
Tape down the edges.
Don’t drip on the carpet! Make
sure the paint’s even.
to kill a mockingbird
Small town justice plays
out before a young girl’s eyes
in the dark Deep South.
too many apps
One for banking, one
for texting, one for social
media et al.
modern christmas shopping
Visit stores and sites
or give all your money to
Amazon.com?
i’m not comfortable in this body
The shape I’m in is
unrecognizable to
my earlier self.
do re mi ay ay ay
Forget the hits. Hang
on to novelty songs that
unite us in hate.
mr. fixit
He can take any
household project and turn it
into one less chore.
exercising privilege
I can ignore things
in the news and retreat to
my secret safe space.
apartheid state
Those in power keep
residents under foot through
violent enforcement.
lessons in love
Learning that you are
capable of giving and
receiving true love.
the suspect mold
Becoming tired
from out of nowhere. Having
trouble with breathing.
counting my spoons
Plan for the day: Take
out the trash. Eat leftovers.
Spot clean the bathroom.
setting boundaries
No, Mom, you can’t talk
to me that way. It’s over
the line and too harsh.
the recurring trip to the in-laws
Oh, the terrible
food and mandatory group
pic. Family sucks.
the cooking equation
A question of base
ingredients, prep tools and
time before dinner.
forming habits
Incremental change
brings gradual but steady
improvement each day.
a chance to shine
We all need a chance
to shine, to show off our skills
and benevolence.
what we have left of the year
Not counting weekends
and holidays, no time left
to dillydally.
the darkness and the coldness
Let winter come. Let
it bury us in chilly
nights. Let winter come.
their christmas day tradition
Hit the cineplex
to watch the worst movie while
giggling in horror.
fancy scoops
The chefs conspired
on gourmet ice cream flavors
never seen before.
even kwanzaa and hanukkah
Multicultural
Santa respects and loves all
holiday customs.
joy to this world
I used to have the
holiday spirit. Got to
get that back somehow.
appointments of fate
What planner you pick
determines if your new year
goes well or badly.
the creature in the crawl space
Some animal is
roaming down there and leaving
gifts of poo and stank.
the tiniest country
It sits atop an
offshore platform and boasts a
robust royalty.
banned words, 2023 edition
AI, X, EGOT,
ChatGPT, FYP
and dystopian.
the joy of creation
Words and music, knives
and paintings, whatever you
make really matters.
the party to end all parties
Let’s have one more toast
to celebrate before it’s
2024.
a clean slate
Time to start anew.
New hopes, new dreams and new goals.
The new year awaits.
will there be enough time this year?
For getting enough
exercise, reading books or
planting a garden.
pretend snow
A pretend blizzard
with a pretend fire for
a pretend snuggle.
will it start?
Press the button. No.
Press it again. No. Press. No.
Press. No. Press. Yes. Whew.
crisp $100 bills
Barely used, always
welcome. Peel them off and show
everyone who’s boss.
life in a war zone
Crowding in basements,
feeling the booms of shelling,
too aware of death.
gift card jubilee
Where to eat and drink,
to shop and spend this heaping
virtual bounty.
mom in the wild
Nurtures, but also
accuses. Sometimes friendly
but also prickly.
kid chefs
A kitchen alive
with activity as they
whip up gourmet meals.
midlife crisis van trip
Gone for 3 days to
find himself. Only to come
back still douchey.
escape with fiction
Enough self help! She
wants to lose herself in a
mystery romance.
the helper
Issuing gentle
reminders, keeping eyes on
the clock, pitching in.
those darn personality tests
They purport to show
our true selves. But they distort
our complex nature.
• • •
Read more Wade’s 101 .
Read more poetry at Wade’s Daily Haiku .
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Monday, January 1, 2024 by Wade Kwon
Happy New Year! Have a terrific and radiant 2024.
Posted in Grab Bag | Permalink | Add a Yip »
Monday, December 25, 2023 by Wade Kwon
VIDEO
Video: “All I Want for Christmas …”
Merry Christmas!
Posted in Grab Bag | Permalink | Add a Yip »
Thursday, November 23, 2023 by Wade Kwon
VIDEO
Video: Comedian Leslie Jones saves your Thanksgiving
from family quarrels.Â
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! Enjoy this clip from “The Daily Show.”
Posted in Grab Bag | Permalink | Add a Yip »
Saturday, November 11, 2023 by Wade Kwon
VIDEO
Video: Livestream of the 2023 National Veterans Day parade
America’s biggest parade is back, and the route is a little bit different this year.
The 2023 National Veterans Day parade starts at 1 p.m. downtown and runs till 4:30 p.m. Â The video livestream above will have coverage of the event starting at 1:30 p.m.
Map: National Veterans Day parade route
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Tuesday, October 31, 2023 by Wade Kwon
VIDEO
Video: A SAG strike-friendly holiday.
Happy Halloween!
Posted in Grab Bag | Permalink | Add a Yip »
Wednesday, October 4, 2023 by Wade Kwon
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not-so-temporary classrooms
Learning in trailers,
an age-old tradition for
overcrowded schools.
the haunted bathroom
The toilet would flush
by itself, because ghosts need
to relieve themselves.
battle of the deplorables
They jabbed in comment
sections and heaped insults on
those they found too “woke.”
rip tina turner
She prowled the stage as
the queen of rock ‘n’ roll no
matter the decade.
the morning pledge
Never too soon to
get the school children voicing
patriotism.
say what, grandma?
She asked if I knew
how to speak the language; I
just shook my head no.
ai ex machina
Dost thou require
sustenance? ERROR ERROR
ARCHAIC LANGUAGE
the tale of the billionaire submarine
Suddenly, their steel
coffin implodes over the
briny ocean floor.
gathering of the neighborhood
They came with chairs and
dishes to celebrate and
watch the fireworks.
mongolian barbecue explained
The chefs take your bowl
of fixins and fry it on
a circular grill.
the summer of leisure
Watch bonfires, play
video games, sleep in and
eat whatever’s there.
plans for the future
Higher learning or
trade school? Move out or stay home?
Get job or study?
flirting with menus
He would text her the
link to restaurants and wait
for her decision.
the ungrateful undead
Elderly dad huffs
at daughter, the volunteer
caregiver for years.
sweat everywhere
On the forehead and
chest, in the pits and butt crack,
dripping dripping wet.
the fallen watermelon
The gourd crashed into
the kitchen floor, leaving chunks
of red everywhere.
punching up, punching down
One is funny, and
the other is scoring laughs
without dignity.
the job no one wanted
They went back and forth,
disagreeing over who
was more qualified.
the alumni gathering
They got off Facebook
long enough to exchange toasts
and share old stories.
i have only my imagination
My brain takes me to
crazy situations and
exotic places.
barry
Hitman turned actor
discovers himself onstage
and can knock ’em dead.
bye bye, braces
Metal contraption
making teeth straighter comes off
with nary a scratch.
party math
Number of guests times
units of food divided
by flavor appeal.
darkest timeline
Doomscrolling poisoned
by suggested followers,
dumb posts, sundry ads.
enshittification of the internet
Build a great product,
then let it rot as they hone
in on short-term gains.
writers’ strike, day 81
Writers have always
struggled with getting fair pay
for all they create.
the struggle to find meaningful work
The job listings run
together in a blur of
keywords and must-haves.
escape to nashville
Head down to Broadway
and check out honky-tonks with
their blaring music.
prescription hassles
Tried mailing it and
faxing it and calling it
in. Just want my drugs.
finding scapegoats
We can’t blame ourselves.
The responsibility
goes to another.
greedflation
When they raise prices
just because they can, it’s a
struggle to get by.
cop city
A police training
site that the people don’t want
in their wooded lot.
wither the absurdist?
We’ll always need a
dose of comedy in some
unexpected ways.
what is the nature of creativity?
Imitation or
originality? Where
does it all come from?
the spend-the-night bag
Pajamas, mouth guard,
book and saline solution
for a night from home.
fifty years of hip hop
Bronx born with rapping,
DJing, graffiti and
break dancing in one.
there’s a better poem here somewhere
First draft needs a lot
of revision to make it
to its final draft.
global boiling
Last month will be the
hottest month ever until
this month breaks records.
hottest trend of the summer
AC repairman
sweats it out each house call as
he brings back coolness.
barbecue wings on wheels
Rolling through the town
to bring lunch options to some
hungry office folk.
who still uses cash?
Cash is king, except
dealing with those coins and bills
ain’t worth the hassle.
who still uses checks?
Let me go find my
checkbook and a pen and write
out the transaction.
roadtrip to atlanta
Watch the clock so we
can time our arrival to
avoid rush hour.
summer sleep schedule
The sheer delights of
staying up late and rising
whenever you choose.
the hottest auditorium
Movie fans sweat it
out for 2 hours in a
room without AC.
school will never be the same again
Who needs thinking when
you have AI to do your
homework in a blink?
the kidnapping that wasn’t
She claimed to see a
baby on the road and led
officers astray.
the unintended consequences
Roe v. Wade is dead,
as are women who have been
denied basic care.
reading round the clock
Plenty of time for
binging and doomscrolling, need
to make time for books.
the comedian’s decline
The punchlines need to
be punchier, lest the laughs
become scantier.
bojack horseman
Former sitcom star
spends his days aimlessly drunk
and melancholy.
even worse than the court of public opinion
The court of public
opinion in the age of
social media.
walking for peace
They traveled from North
to South Korea through the
DMZ gauntlet.
the historymakers
Black notables grant
interviews about their lives
for posterity.
pick a direction!
They agonized for
weeks about the new project.
Deciding was tough.
the external lung
Strap your face into
the silent contraption that
breathes life into sleep.
mostly couples goofing around
A strange assortment
of TikToks and Reels that bring
smiles and make your day.
fun around the pool
Float around with friends,
sipping coladas, swatting
insects, keeping cool.
smoke gets in your eyes
Gas crisis: We choke
on bad air from fires a
continent away.
long distance affair
She ran off to be
with her married lover, just
to end up alone.
a life beyond numbers
Up until this point,
he depended on stats to
manage him daily.
the sleep clinic
Take a bed, get wired
up and go to sleep. In the
morning, some answers.
the goat of mountain brook
Billy scampered to
unknown streets, finding ways to
escape his captors.
ads are everywhere
A flower blossoms.
Try new Metamucil Plus.
The petals shine bright.
an almost concert
The show must go on,
except when the artist is
too sick to perform.
down with patriarchy
Let men run the world,
they said. What could possibly
go awry, they said.
summer’s end
Pack up the swimsuits,
put away the sunblock, get
ready for the fall.
the day the ac died
Sob in horror as
the house transforms into a
gigantic oven.
a billionaire’s whims
Indulge in petty
payback while desperately
trying to seem cool.
mercury northward
Next year, we’ll look back
on this summer as coolest
one in our lifetimes.
kickin’ ass for the working class
Join together and
fight the greedy CEOs
for a bigger slice.
drive-through and through
The big revamp leads
to a restaurant with more
cars, fewer diners.
foodie fantasy
I want to try all
the restaurants, if I can
find them when open.
somebody hates these cans
These cans are begging
to be organized, not just
left there on some shelf.
on forgetfulness
I seem to have lost
track of recent memories,
the scope I don’t know.
have you tried not socializing?
We could go out, or
spend the evening quietly
in our fine jammies.
could’ve sworn it was a parking lot
Before anyone
realized it, a surprise
Waffle House popped up.
did we win the war on terror?
Seems like we gave the
terrorists more reasons to
fight back everywhere.
analysis paralysis
Too many choices
leaves us unable to pick
one among the crowd.
feeling blah
Depression sometimes
lurks as demotivation
to do anything.
painting in the warehouse
A sweaty, dusty
task turning black to white in
several even coats.
on the 60th
Addie Mae, Carole,
Cynthia and Denise, may
they rest in power.
foot-in-mouth disease
Without trying, he
managed to insult most of
the staff. What a dolt.
four indictments
Such is the state of
our democracy when one
leader’s out on bail.
the hidden weight
She refused to step
on a scale, the tyranny
of numbers ended.
atomic nightmare
Unleashing the bomb
has brought us to the brink of
nuclear holocaust.
a day at the cineplex
Warm popcorn and cold
soda, heated seats and fun
fans. Roll the movies!
the overnight guests
They need a respite
from the stuffy abode and
myriad of pets.
lo–fi hip–hop beats to study/relax to
Late into the night,
he pored over his textbooks
looking for answers.
fall is coming
Fall is coming. Fall
is here. Fall is a blessing
each and every year.
gathering in nashville
Four friends hit the town
for musical adventures
and grand fellowship.
birthday boy
He brought his buddies
to the pool where they could swim,
splash and celebrate.
the yelling kind
Screaming rage sets off
my anxiety, a fear
reaction triggered.
withering inspiration
Someday, the muse will
stop dropping by and all things
creative will die.
game show dreams
Let me guess the price
of a waterbed, so I
can win on TV.
people who need church the most
“Jesus was a dang
lib’rul, needs to toughen up
against illegals.”
double duty
Why wash the dishes
before sticking them in the
dishwasher? No clue.
the awful waffle
Small booths and semi-
filthy bar await diners
starving for vittles.
ova here
Hard boiled, over
easy, scrambled, hollandaise,
omelette and just raw.
senior discount
The older you are,
the more you can save by just
being not dead yet.
what is a cult?
A charismatic
leader working on raising
funds and brainwashing.
• • •
Read more Wade’s 101 .
Read more poetry at Wade’s Daily Haiku .
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Monday, September 4, 2023 by Wade Kwon
VIDEO
Video: Why we celebrate Labor Day
Happy Labor Day! The U.S. Department of Labor put together this video on the importance of workers.
Posted in Grab Bag | Permalink | Add a Yip »
Tuesday, July 4, 2023 by Wade Kwon
Video: Gloria Gaynor performs “I Will Survive”
for “A Capitol Fourth” TV special.
•
Happy birthday, America!
Enjoy this musical celebration from the 2022 “A Capitol Fourth” special.
Posted in Grab Bag | Permalink | Add a Yip »
Sunday, June 25, 2023 by Wade Kwon
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getting lucky
Luck can be found in
a four-leaf clover or a
session of hard work.
the long detour
She missed the turn but
cheerfully announced that we’d
get there soon enough.
kinda like macrotransactions
Microtransactions
give unfair advantages
to those who can pay.
to renew ourselves
Blossom in the sun.
Breathe deep the seasonal air.
Bounce toward the new.
videosis
The algorithm
feeds us reel after reel as
we stare in stupor.
the youngest leader in the world
She will stand up to
dictators and still get down
with her compadres.
the forever artist
The machine cranks out
Picassos in the style of
modern day Rembrandt.
defense against the dark artists
What will deter the
all-consuming computer
from scanning it all?
the woman who tore down women
Assured in her own
gender, the author decried
others as faux girls.
peddling lies
Even they couldn’t
be bothered to feign interest
in the dreck they sold.
school’s out for springtime
Sleep in and play games.
Put homework and studying
on the back burner.
and for her next job …
A better health plan,
more time off and, of course, a
bigger salary.
brunch impossible
All the late risers
and church folk eyed the waiting
list with deep hunger.
paperwork of getting older
Where do we keep our
accounts? Who’s our main doctor?
What are the passwords?
the old man at the door
She found him in need,
as ungrateful as ever.
Still, she didn’t run.
the lost art of pranks
Have we lost our touch
with practical jokes and their
hilarious ends?
well-publicized trysts
Their encounters caught
on pics were the only proof
of enduring love.
new flavors of every food
Weird potato chips,
cereals from candy bars
and mincemeat cookies.
return to office or else
Bosses need someone
to boss around, have under
foot, doing the work.
lunacy in the bedroom
The grunts and flailing
limbs, awkward positions and
preposterous faces.
happy birthday, jen!
Older and wiser,
happier and sexier,
primed for a great year.
other birminghams
Michigan, Kansas,
England, Indiana and
three in Ohio.
the landfill fire
Bad garbage with good,
set aflame and still smoking
after all these months.
the pastel ritual of spring
Easter bunnies and
spring chickens team up to hide
fancy eggs from kids.
i’m an introvert ama
I like to talk one-
on-one and explore the vast
reaches of the mind.
making radio
A cup of coffee,
some fresh tunes, a hot mic and
a little banter.
flea market finds
Branded candles and
patriotic flags, T-shirts
and some handmade soaps.
home movies
Why bother with the
pricy theater when we
can watch on streaming?
shopping mall makeover
A new store here, a
refurbished store there. Shoppers
flock to their havens.
the intuitive eater
Listen closely and
you will hear your body ask
for the correct food.
compulsive saving
Squirreling away stray
dollars in case of rainy
year. It pays to save.
hot flashes, cold stares
The bed is too hot.
The bed is too cold. The bed
is not to blame, dear.
your tax dollars at work
Give every paycheck
and give more at tax time and
get cheap governance.
the tattered yard
Mud holes surrounded
by sprouting weeds and patchy
grass. Needs an upgrade.
she takes good care of me
A place for me to
unwind, to be fed, to be
treated like a king.
tornado alley
Beware the darkened
skies and nearby polygons
for they bring ill winds.
the reign of the drag queens
A man in a dress.
But won’t somebody please think
about the children?
the case of the $80 cinnamon rolls
Apparently the
kind rich folks eat on their yachts
while sipping champagne.
standing room only
A sea of bobbing
heads, a breeze of skunky weed,
a band set to rock.
to the dump
The pickup only
gets AM, hauling off our
treasured pile of junk.
the great car cleanup
We reach over and
under seats to collect the
mountains of discards.
gen pop
Alabama builds
more prisons while the people
suffer in silence.
the super closet
The wire shelves and
baskets give every item
a place to hang out.
puppy training pays off
The obedient
dog demonstrates his newfound
calmer demeanor.
shorties at a concert
Enjoy the back of
someone’s head while sipping on
an overpriced beer.
the poet’s charade
Is this really a
verse about me or someone
else? It’s up to you.
weaponizing southernness
Who are these weirdos
selling biscuits in our back
yard? Pricy and twee.
jackass, md
He barely glances
at the patient and huffs that
he’s late to dinner.
all growing because of climate change
Hurricanes, fires,
droughts, rain showers, heat waves, floods,
blizzards, tornadoes.
but i don’t get dance
Their artistry moves
you, their athleticism
inspires wonder.
the death of a potato chip dynasty
The damn yankees snatched
up a hometown favorite
just to watch it die.
the hardest person to forgive
You screw up, and you
get upset. But it’s OK
to be imperfect.
dead to the world
He would not get up,
despite the yelling and the
banging on the door.
the next big leap
Ready for a change,
stepping out into the world
of books, beer, BAs.
football on skates
Drop the puck, y’all, and
let the brawl commence. Even
the South loves hockey.
fail, fall, fool
Will it be a good
summer if you’re repeating
the 10th grade?
counting macros
This bite will cost me
18 calories and an
extra 20 reps.
summer’s coming
Only a few more
school days to go till the great
forgetting begins.
don’t pay me in candy, weirdo
I expected cash.
Instead, I got a Twix and
a goddamn Mars bar.
journey on the mississippi
Paddling along the
grand waterway in search of
an old legacy.
living in trailers
A cheap version of
the American dream, home
sweet mobile home.
too much celebrating at janet jackson
The party guy is
carefully escorted from
his seat to the door.
the vinyl vanguard
Fans who want a piece
of the artist collect disks
of recorded songs.
hot to trot
Several suitors
vie for sexy time with a
foxy bachelorette.
the graduate 2023
BA in TikTok
with minor in CRT,
ready for the real world.
tcby not
Everyone has that
one business they can’t support
because it sucks bad.
learn the ropes
Knots: fun to tie, hard
to remember, not just for
Boy Scouts and sailors.
ode to my therapist
Listening to my
nonsense and giving tips for
over a decade.
listening is a superpower
It takes focus and
selflessness. We must truly
engage with others.
careful folding
Perfect creases turn
common paper into a
magnificent crane.
cookout prep
Scrape the grill, prep the
meat, stock up on charcoal and
locate the lighter.
streamer’s paradise
An effortless way
with words, a gift for wasting
precious time online.
gendered ghetto
When you don’t fit the
standard categories for
awards in your field.
addicted to combat
If the U.S, is
good at one thing, it’s fighting
in war after war.
ticketma$ter
An artist must sell
tickets, but must they use the
worst company? Yes.
the challenge of cheap social media
To learn more about
us, endlessly scroll through our
random Instagram.
on strike
Writers bond while on
the picket line, gathering
momentum each day.
dietary needs
More sugar, more carbs,
a radical change in what
I consume daily.
amphibians after hours
Tiny frogs hopping
into the pool to play and
swim all through the night.
tome sweet tome
She searched box after
box, looking for an old book
that’s been on her mind.
green tea at the japanese supermarket
It’s here somewhere in
the aisles, hiding among a
bevy of products.
date night
Get gussied up for
an evening of fancy drinks
and lavish dining.
moping around the house
Too alone with no
plans, no activities, just
me and depression.
a fitness competition
Who can do the most
sit-ups, squats and miles? Winner
gets a hernia.
murder city
Bullets are flying,
people are dying, and the
cops are in the dark.
summer travel pro tip
Better get to the
airport early, so they can
cancel your first flight.
carbon zero
Take out all the stray
dioxide and pump it straight
into solid ground.
spirited away: the drama
Master film becomes
whole new beast as staged play with
fantastic puppets.
try this one stupid trick to vanquish censorship
Banned books are the best
books, but you’ll have to find that
out all on your own.
what a drag brunch
Fabulous ladies
bring mimosas, croon Gaga
and spread love to all.
baker’s lament
The layers aren’t quite
flat enough, and the icing
is full of loose crumbs.
attention deficit
We compete for her
favor, thinking up ways to
win her heart and mind.
a depressive state
Not so much dreaded
as defeated. Familiar
feeling of the funk.
the block of new garbage cans
Up and down the street,
they stand at attention for
the garbage truck’s hook.
mid-morning bathroom break
He came from nowhere
to use the facilities,
slipping out softly.
correspondence corner
It’s always nice to
get a thank you note, written
with care and kindness.
summer is here
Sprinklers and lightning
bugs, cold drinks and barbecues,
longer days for fun.
phantom boxcars
The alarms clanged with
the gates down, but no train passed
through the lone crossing.
roe v. wade, 1973-2022
Five justices quashed
women’s reproductive rights
in a single vote.
the first anniversary
Today, we drink to
our couplehood after 1
year of lovely dates.
for the siskels and eberts
Can a critic who
hates the work offer a good,
fair-minded review?
• • •
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Monday, May 29, 2023 by Wade Kwon
VIDEO
Video: 2023 National Memorial Day Concert
Happy Memorial Day!
Enjoy music and more from the 2023 National Memorial Day Concert in Washington.
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Thursday, March 16, 2023 by Wade Kwon
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death of a friendship
They couldn’t see each
other as they are now, but
as who they were then.
stages of braces
Anticipation,
soreness, weird accent, soreness,
swishing out food bits.
it all comes down to a sliver of voters
Everyone sticks to
their parties, and a group of
moderates then chooses.
crucial conversations
Moving from fight or
flight to safety for all who
fill up knowledge pool.
final stages
He’s going to talk
with his dad about elder
care choices to come.
exploring the world of food
They tried every new
restaurant, reading menus,
picking cool dishes.
the return of beavis and butt-head
Teenage duo wreak
havoc while cracking jokes at
music videos.
the little burrito shop
A family-run
place where the burritos rule
and the tacos strut.
where’s the mistletoe?
A sprig can lead to
a first kiss can lead to one
more kiss can lead to …
funny ornaments
Old school art projects,
sports mascots, talking cartoons
and assorted kitsch.
it’s the bought that counts
Gift cards are perfect
for control freaks: Spend this much
at only this place.
tiktok: where issues go to die
If it’s not happy
happy, if it spotlights a
cause, it’s banned all right.
four bags of clothes
One to donate, one
to trash. One to sell, one to
give to a dear friend.
but who will stand for the white man?
Embracing the right’s
Christian nationalism
makes for holy war.
war crimes in ukraine
Putin brandishes
his military might by
killing families.
visions of winter
Southerners dream of
snow, but wake up to icy
nightmares all around.
thermodynamically deficient
Shivering around
the house, in the car, at the
store. Always too cold.
shopping maul
Should we still look for
the perfect gift, or will we
make do with these socks?
virtual lap, virtual ear
Santa takes time to
field last-minute Zoom calls from
those good boys and girls.
a christmas wish
Could we lay down the
guns for a day and start a
little peace on earth?
thirty marvel movies and counting
Are we tired of
movies based on comic books?
Watch IP freely.
what i did in 2022
Met my girlfriend, got
new job and computer, paid
off all debt, walked miles.
hankering for tales, tall and otherwise
More people are swayed
by compelling stories than
dry facts on their own.
over before it started
Let’s resolve to make
ourselves better in— Screw it
and pass the cheesecake.
closing the year in a tizzy
Spending the last week
hurriedly trying to do
everything listed.
the quiet countdown
Nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one. Happy
New Year, we whisper.
new year’s wish
Hoping for growth, peace
and all things wonderful in
2023.
pandemic year four
The virus surges,
and the death toll rises. Why
aren’t we doing more?
photos of who i am now
The most glaring change
is the biggest smile that you’ve
ever partaken.
old knees
The legs work fine, save
for creaky joints that sometimes
need a little rest.
gingerbread housing
The roof leaks icing,
the windows are all muddy,
the walls are falling.
pocket computers
Use them to record
moments, calculate bearings,
learn about the world.
suggested food trucks
Pancakes, whiskey snow
cones, pies, chitlins, kimchi and
deep-fried everything.
hop on a plane
Take flight on an old
747 to
visit a new land.
southwest gone south
Their planes stood frozen
on the tarmac. Their agents
unable to move.
streaming meltdown
How do you win fans
with mediocre programs
and rising prices?
reverse to-do list
She added items
already done to keep track
of her performance.
alas twitter
Whoever thought that
tweeting would prove to be more
trouble than its worth?
murder central
Bodies drop every
day in the city. Nothing
slows down the killing.
first time in south america
Hopping continents
to embrace new people and
absorb more culture.
hiding the special ice cream
It resides in the
secret freezer to keep those
pesky roommates out.
the nonviolence way
Yell from the streets, march
to and fro, let everyone
know why we’re angry.
the office cleanup
Pack, trash, shred, file, place
on shelves, stow in baskets, sweep,
rearrange, compact.
lower your standards
Why have the best when
you can have fourth best? Why try
for unreachables?
the lone birthday present
It wasn’t much, but
it was enough to stave off
lonely bitterness.
infinite diversity in infinite combinations
The franchise, in its
seventh decade, plows ahead
with more fun and shock.
internal calendar
We feel a younger
age than we are. Our spirit
shines through our wan flesh.
on the minibike
The youngster puttered
around the farm, causing the
chickens to scatter.
family gathering
Young’uns running the
halls, parents in the kitchen,
Grandma in the den.
the loudest children on earth
They open their mouths
like normal kids but emit
high-decibel booms.
yipping and yapping
Doggy duo ruled
room with microaggressive
barks and energy.
closed for private party
You can’t come in: We’re
busy celebrating your
being kept outside.
epic house party
Lots of food and drink,
a great endless playlist and
friends and family.
the tech revolution
Easier to text
the children than shout over
and over for them.
putting the “ai” in haiku
This is a haiku
about the nature. Pine cones
come from cones of pine.
the blizzard
Trapped indoors with no
means of escape. Surviving
until help arrives.
nepo babies
Well, these Hollywood
roles won’t cast themselves, will they?
They’ll be stars, big stars!
add 45 days
It takes 21
days for a new habit to
take. But that’s a myth.
the kayak incident
My partner went for
a swim. When he tried to climb
back in … in I went!
the long withdrawal
The blinding headache
of weaning yourself off of
caffeine pierces all.
what’s the steering wheel doing way over there?
Everyone here drives
on the left. There’s no way I
can get used to it.
beach bummed
Got my sunscreen on.
Got my cold drink and good book …
uh oh, here comes rain.
party barge
Beer and booze for all
as we swim and cavort and
snorkel in the bay.
nightly facetimes
I needed to see
that face, that smile, on my screen
while away from home.
the podcaster’s dilemma
To let the guest shine
or to hog the spotlight while
showing off their smarts.
improv rules
Learning how to build
each other’s ideas while
not going for laughs.
bite by bite
They finished off the
remaining ice cream and licked
the bowl super clean.
forming new habits
Every action you
take is a vote for the type
you wish to become.
strip mining memories
Creative process
includes plumbing deep depths of
psyche for details.
the chatgpt dad joke
I asked the chatbot
for a doctor’s note, but it
gave me excuses.
and chicken thighs
Food is love. Cooking
special dishes for special
someone takes real heart.
ai takeover
An approximate
thinking engine is enough
to fool most of us.
the path of elder care
A winding trip through
insurance and nursing homes
and health aides and death.
party at amanda’s
Head to basement for
rocking out with local band,
banana in hand.
i love you
I said it, and I
meant it. Don’t know why it took
so long to utter.
furry rave
Dress for bed and for
a party with some panda
PJs and glow stick.
tying the room together
Throw out the shabby
old rug, and throw down a new
beauty to walk on.
the pegasus effect
Governments use these
military-grade tools to
spy on civilians.
black life revealed
Zora studied new
cultures by taking part in
songs and rituals.
the dinner that almost wasn’t
He forgot to make
the reservations, and the
joint was filling fast.
moving offices
They cleared out their small
cubicles, hit the lights and
left the rest behind.
the lasting of ‘the last of us’
Wandering through a
hellscape of zombies and rogues.
*shakes fist at fungus*
the evolution of amazon
Books to everything
to knock-offs and “Lord of the
Rings” and prescriptions.
one step back
Twists and turns on the
road to sobriety can
include relapses.
why are we afraid of black history?
Destroy all of our
libraries and flog teachers
who do not obey.
a one thread count
Sheets made of burlap
that scratch the skin and crackle
when placed on the bed.
a dozen concerts on the calendar
Wherever the bands
play, whatever time they start,
we’re gonna see them.
pothole city
Cars bounce and tires
pop on the unkempt roads of
our metropolis.
the message of hip-hop
A true 21st-
century town crier who
tells us where it’s at.
race cars and thimbles
Traipsing through a flat
Atlantic City to buy
property for cheap.
the death of twitter
All that was left was
a self-styled pretender and
adoring minions.
quite the racquet
Not enough spaces
for tennis, pickleball. We’ll
settle it in court.
junk food jamboree
Patties and buns in
juicy combat to decide
best burger in town.
the magic window
Glimpses of life on
active rotation, highlights
and precious moments.
puzzlers
Spending time sorting
by edges and colors to
build a large portrait.
brighter days ahead
The lie of the clock
is that it’s earlier than
it was yesterday.
the modern awards show
Flashy staging and
slick graphics with the same old
bigwigs and speeches.
f is for fentanyl
Kills without remorse
this opioid scourge that hides
in everyday drugs.
pie oh my
Cherry, chocolate,
chess, apple, pumpkin, Key lime,
blueberry, pecan.
am i hungry?
Learning to trust the
body for signals to feed
and to stop feeding.
yelp wanted
Scroll through the choices,
pick a new restaurant for
dinner on a dare.
• • •
Read more Wade’s 101 .
Read more poetry at Wade’s Daily Haiku .
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Sunday, January 1, 2023 by Wade Kwon
Photo: T.K. Mc
Happy New Year! May 2023 be fanciful and wondrous.
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Sunday, December 25, 2022 by Wade Kwon
VIDEO
Video: Darlene Love performs “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”
on “The Late Show with David Letterman.”
Merry Christmas!
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